I was recently reading that the Mayans believe that the world will end in 2012. In five years. And I was a little surprised to realize that I felt sadness if that were to be true. I want Samantha to be able to grow old, and have babies, and fall in love...

And I realized that, more than that, I want to have those things as well! I want to grow old, and fall in love again, and perhaps have another baby. And I still don't know how I feel about that. I feel happy. In a very tentative way. Like, if I allow myself to feel the recent happiness too much, I might strangle it in some way. So for now, I tenderly stroke it, hoping that if I nourish it enough, it'll grow. Because that's the way it works, right?

Seriously, I get inspiration from the weirdest places. I was doing my workouts last week, and my trainer said: "If it seems sometimes things are too much to handle look to God. Also, your mind and your will are all you have. Use it. Remember: where you are today, is where YOU put you. Where you'll be tomorrow, is where YOU will put you." It's all I have to remember.

I know sometimes I ramble a bit during these posts, but fuck it - outlining for briefs, not for this silly little blog...