Thursday, April 03, 2008

Wow. I hadn't noticed just how long it's been since the last time I posted. I guess I should update...

I now have a boyfriend. Well, not now. He's been around for awhile. And he makes me very happy. Unfortunately, it's led me to an emotion I didn't think I'd experience - guilt. I sometimes feel guilty for being happy, and I know it's irrational, but it's still there. I hate experiencing these things, but the only thing I can do is manage them. You can't really quell them.

The other day, I had the most extraordinary thing happen to me. I was riding the train to work, and I was staring out the window. The glare of the sun was hurting my eyes, and I thought to myself "Goddamn this sun." I then turned my head and standing almost right behind me was a blind man. I immediately felt horrible. Here I was, with the wonderful gift of sight, damning something that this man probably wished he could see. That made me realize that even though some things seem horrible, I'm infinitely luckier than a lot of people out there.