Back in NJ
After a very nice weekend in Pittsburgh, I'm back in New Jersey. I had such a great time. I will provide a link to some of the pics I took as soon as I upload them to photobucket.
The only downside to my weekend was the intense desire to have Pablo share it with me. In 2004, we had made plans to take a mini-tour of several stadiums: Cleveland, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, and Baltimore. We only made it to Baltimore that year. I have wonderful memories of that weekend spent in Maryland, but I wish he was here, to join me as I explore more ballparks.
When do you stop feeling that pull in your stomach at the fact that he will never again join you in the awe of seeing a new ballpark for the first time? When do you stop feeling the sadness in your heart at seeing all the other couples and families out at the ballpark, knowing that that should have been you? When do you stop feeling the bitterness rise in your throat at the sight of all the dads with their kids, either cuddling the babies or explaining the game to the older kids?
I don't know. And that scares me. A lot more than I'm willing to admit.