I didn't realize that another death - especially to someone who I didn't know very well - could shake me up as much as it has. When I woke up on Friday morning, I was greeted with the news that a friend of my sister's had been killed. He was a police officer in our town, and he had been on duty, driving a prisoner to the jail, when his car was hit on the driver's side. He was only 31, had been married a few years, and was expecting his first baby. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
It was just too damn similar to my own story. I immediately went on the internet, hoping against hope that our neighbor had gotten the story wrong. I was just crushed when I saw him name there, when the report confirmed his death. I just thought back to my own Worst Day Ever, 1/25/05. I know that 8/22/08 will have the same significance to his widow. This is something I would never wish on anyone, a club we wish no one would ever join. Unfortunately, life always has something in store for us.
It's now been over 3 years since That Day. I can tell I have gotten better. It's taken a lot of work, and of course, it's something that will be with me always. But I did notice that while I wasn't paying attention, I have begun to be happy again. But then things like this happen to just push me right back to where I started, even if I know how to crawl out of the hole now.
3 comments:
For myself, I became even more sympathetic and attuned to loss after losing my spouse in 2004. Sometimes I view this increased empathy as a gift and other days a not-so-wonderful gift, but we work with what we encounter in life. In the end, all we can do is the best we can.
I remember an older widow in my church, who helped me walk through the initial difficulties of losing your husband to cancer.
It is always a blessing to be able to take another widow's hand and just let her know that she isn't alone.
Sometimes when you know 1 other person who has been through it, it helps you get up in the morning and take a step.
In that lies healing.
Does it EVER go away? No, it will be 6 yrs. ago on Nov. 29th...but I can live, and the happiness and laughter remind you that you are still on this side of living.
tmw
it can bring back so many memories that it triggers all the in initial pain again. We also start to understand what it means to those who have been left behind.
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