Lately, time's just been zipping by. I guess I should update where I am right now.

Baby Girl starts pre-school next month! It's very exciting. I can't believe she's already at the age where she can go to school. I've been busy shopping for some school clothes for her, and searching for the perfect book bag. It's funny, I think her book bag and lunch box will be more of statement about me, than about her.

The case that stemmed from the Accident is close to its conclusion. Part of me is relieved to have this over with, and anxious to move on with my life. The other part of me feels guilty that I am receiving a "windfall" from His death. I knew that was to be expected but am still surprised to be going through it.

Finally, I had heard about people who, after being so catastrophically hurt emotionally, become evasive towards the new partner or even sabotage it subconsciously. I always thought that was ridiculous, and vowed I'd never do it. Joke's on me, because it seems that I'm doing exactly that. I will not go into specifics, but I find myself doing the same things over and over again, knowing that it will upset my loving boyfriend. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I taking advantage of this wonderful man? I'm scared that one day I will lose him, after pushing him over the brink.