Friday, January 22, 2010

I noticed that it's been almost a year since I last updated. I cannot believe how quickly time goes by. On Jan. 25th, it will be 5 years since he left us. My daughter turns 5 in March. She begins kindergarten in September. I cannot believe it!

I don't recognize that 26 year-old girl I was when I was first widowed. I hurt for her, my heart breaks for her. My greatest fear is having the same pain invade my world again.

5 years later, I can honestly say that I'm doing okay. Life does go on, and you have no choice to continue. I also have a wonderful daughter who keeps me firmly in the here and now. A few days ago, she asked me how her father died. I explained as simply as I could that there had been an accident. There is time for the gruesome details later. For now, I'm glad that he is part of her life.

The time immediately following his death was spent surviving. Merely existing. I breathed because my body told me to. My heart pumped because it does it on its own. I ate because the baby inside me required me to. I slept because my weary body collapsed at night. Eventually, though, you begin to once again appreciate the green of the grass, your child's laugh, the taste of an ice cream cone. You once thought you'd never LIVE again, but you do overcome.

5 comments:

K.J. said...

I passed my five year anniversary on the 16th. I was 29 when I was widowed and had three small children to tell. Although, my husband was ill for almost a year prior to his death. 5 years. You never know where life will take you!
www.diaryofawidow.com

Anonymous said...

It's just five months since my husband died, and I'm still just trying to survive. I'm glad to hear you're still hanging in there, still surviving.
Lisa
www.rememberinggeorge.com

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

oakleyses said...

nike trainers, lululemon outlet, instyler ionic styler, uggs outlet, giuseppe zanotti, mont blanc pens, longchamp, nike huarache, abercrombie and fitch, new balance outlet, marc jacobs outlet, ugg, vans outlet, barbour, nfl jerseys, hollister, chi flat iron, bottega veneta, beats headphones, ugg outlet, north face outlet, ghd, p90x workout, soccer shoes, reebok shoes, uggs on sale, north face jackets, jimmy choo shoes, babyliss pro, soccer jerseys, roshe run, wedding dresses, abercrombie and fitch, herve leger, ferragamo shoes, valentino shoes, asics shoes, birkin bag, nike roshe, mac cosmetics, insanity workout, ugg soldes, rolex watches, mcm handbags, celine handbags

oakleyses said...

timberland shoes, hollister clothing, converse shoes, karen millen, moncler, louboutin, juicy couture outlet, air max, ray ban, wedding dress, moncler, parajumpers outlet, canada goose uk, hollister, montre femme, supra shoes, converse, canada goose, toms outlet, canada goose outlet, gucci, canada goose pas cher, coach outlet, nike air max, iphone 6 case, canada goose outlet, canada goose, vans, canada goose outlet, oakley, moncler, moncler, ugg, lancel, ralph lauren, hollister canada, baseball bats, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton canada, moncler, replica watches, canada goose, moncler outlet, moncler, ugg boots, uggs canada