And how quickly things can change. 12 hours after my last post, my fiance called me to tell me that Sellers weren't exactly out of their last contract.

I don't understand their motivations - why court another potential Buyer when you're under contract? Why try to entangle us in potential litigation for interfering with their contract when they've got someone lined up? I don't get it.

I guess it's back to the drawing board.

We have recently been in the process of looking for a house and it has certainly been an adventure. We had originally decided on a nearby city, and were quickly discouraged when we saw that prices were still pretty high in that area. In order to get the house we wanted, we expanded our search.

Two months in, we found 2 amazing houses. They were so amazing, it took us a week to decide which house to pick. We finally made a choice and were ecstatic with it. And then the issues started mounting. No house is perfect, so we compromised with this house - it was on a busier road than we would've liked, it had a pool - something that worried us (maintenance and children), and would need a new roof and furnace, and didn't have a finished basement. Like I said, you make compromises when purchasing a home, unless you're paying enough to get everything you want. However, the final straw came when our mortgage officer told us we'd need flood insurance. It was the first we'd heard about that, and quickly looked to FEMA maps. Nothing. Elevation reports - nothing. The house was definitely in a flood zone, and we definitely wouldn't compromise on that.

I was sorely disappointed - it truly was a beautiful home - but we couldn't bend. As soon as we heard about the flood zone issue, we started looking at other homes. We immediately found a gorgeous home, but since we were tied up with the first contract, we couldn't negotiate with the seller. By the time we got out of the contract, the 2nd house had been snapped up. I was crushed. It was starting to seem like we'd never find anything (I might be a bit dramatic at times), but there was nothing else to do. I started looking at other houses, listing the ones I liked but there were so few that caught my eye now that we'd gotten used to the likes of the first couple of houses we were considering.

That was until yesterday. I got a call from my fiancé, and he was telling me, "The deal fell through, the deal fell through." I had no idea what he was talking about, but he finally told me that the buyers for the gorgeous house we'd seen had walked away from the contract! We knew we had to act fast and now we've put in an offer. Nothing's final till the sellers have signed, but we're so close I can taste it!

Little blog, I've got great news. I'm engaged!! I'm so happy.

The boyfriend proposed while we were on vacation in the Philippines. It was the sweetest thing - he took me to bluff overlooking the ocean just outside our villa, after dinner, and simply asked "Will you marry me?" Of course I said yes.

I have been incredibly lucky to have fallen in love with my best friend. I've known him since college back in the late 90s. We went to law school together, and we've been close friends ever since. I thank my lucky stars for this wonderful, sweet, funny man.

I noticed that it's been almost a year since I last updated. I cannot believe how quickly time goes by. On Jan. 25th, it will be 5 years since he left us. My daughter turns 5 in March. She begins kindergarten in September. I cannot believe it!

I don't recognize that 26 year-old girl I was when I was first widowed. I hurt for her, my heart breaks for her. My greatest fear is having the same pain invade my world again.

5 years later, I can honestly say that I'm doing okay. Life does go on, and you have no choice to continue. I also have a wonderful daughter who keeps me firmly in the here and now. A few days ago, she asked me how her father died. I explained as simply as I could that there had been an accident. There is time for the gruesome details later. For now, I'm glad that he is part of her life.

The time immediately following his death was spent surviving. Merely existing. I breathed because my body told me to. My heart pumped because it does it on its own. I ate because the baby inside me required me to. I slept because my weary body collapsed at night. Eventually, though, you begin to once again appreciate the green of the grass, your child's laugh, the taste of an ice cream cone. You once thought you'd never LIVE again, but you do overcome.