Thursday, December 20, 2007

Last night, I spent 4 hours in the ER. Everything turned out fine, Sammy had just hurt her wrist. I was afraid she'd broken anything, so I took her, and the xrays came back negative. She still needed a splint, and it broke my heart to see her little arm get wrapped up, and then put in a little sling.

What really got me though was that yesterday had been the first time I'd stepped into that ER since That Day. I actually felt a little woozy when I stepped inside, and when they ushered me into the waiting area. It was just all too much. I couldn't help but think of That Day. Of the noise, the movement all around, the police walking up to me and telling me "he didn't make it." But, I just saw his brother - how did he not make it, and his brother did? I couldn't help thinking "why am I here?"

14 comments:

adam brown said...

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widowmoran said...

the passages of time through widowdom are ever changing. I have yet to pass through those halls of hospital. My husband passed 4 years ago Feb. This is my first blog. I am glad you are ok.

CresceNet said...

Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.

Miles To Go Before I Sleep...... said...

I understand the feeling.... My husband died a year and a half ago and I haven't set foot in that hospital again since.... until this last week when I had to take my son there for treatment.... very hard to have all those memories rushing back all at once, especially when I was supposed to be strong and helping my child through a rough time.... However i noticed I did feel a bit of comfort.... knowing that his spirit was helping and looking down on his son that day.... strange all the thoughts in our heads :-) I enjoy reading your blog and I think we are on much of the same level.... If you ever feel like chatting sometime just hit me up... I don't have too many friends who have experienced a complete life changing event at such a young age as we have....

Sorry.... RAMBLING :-)

Much luck to you and yours,
Dana and her boys
Zakarismommy@mchsi.com

Carol Scibelli said...

Hi Wanda,
Just found your blog. I'm a widow, too athough I'm old enough to be your mother...whoe...I hate that expression.
Good for us to express this crazy turn of events in our lives...I wish you peace.

a kelly said...

12 years for me...still get flshbacks.
I put the grieving aside somehow to raise my daughter, care for my mother, you know...get on with life at hand.
My daughter just moved out and I think now is time to put my own life in order. Finally.
Blogging helps.

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