Nothing like a high school reunion to make you evaluate where you are in your life. 10 years ago, I saw myself satisfied with my job, happily married and with 1 or two rugrats. One out of three ain't bad, huh?
Yesterday was my god-son's fourth birthday. Do you know what it's like to be in a room with all these couples, all with their perfect two-sets, boy and girl? Blech. Makes me wonder what the hell I did wrong in my prior life. And I know it's irrational to think that way, but I just get curious sometimes as to why I won this horrific lottery, while most people my age just wander through their lives, blissfully unaware of what could befall them. Yes, this is the "blinders" approach to life, as I'm sure I'm hardly the only person to suffer hardship, but it definitely feels that way sometimes.
3 comments:
When is your reunion, and are you going?
Mine is this year as well. They're stupidly having it on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I guess the planning committee figures everyone will be in town for the holiday, but who wants to give up family or shopping time? I also have to work that Saturday.
I'm still on the fence about going. My best friend, whom I've known since high school, is going- and his wife is really excited about it.
At 10 years, I hoped to be better looking with a kick-ass job. So much for that.
Yeah, I did the 10 year thing during the summer. I thought that it would be obvious how much I'd changed and stuff but--just like high school--I spent a lot of time worried that Amy Redden was going to beat the crap out of me.
I'm also a young widow (though not nearly as young as you) raising two children. My husband died of cancer in 2006. I so identified with your post--I often wonder what terrible thing I must have done in a previous life. And I look at those 2-parent, 2 kid families and wonder if they know that they just got lucky in life's lottery . . and I wonder why I didn't.
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