I hate coming up with clever titles.
It's hard to consistently come up with clever, cutesy titles.
Anyway, a few nights ago, I was reading a book in bed, and Sammy was playing around on the bed. She then does the cutest thing - she lifts my right arm, and cuddles up to me and says "wub you, mami." Yes, my heart melted there, and I felt so happy to hear her say that, and show it too. But why is it that from now on all my happy moments will be tinged with sadness? Because just a few seconds after being overwhelmed with joy, the sadness crept in. I wish he could've been there to share that moment with me, with our daughter. But more than that, I wish he could've experienced the love that I feel for Sammy and the love she feels for me. I wish he could've gotten the opportunity to know how amazing it is to kiss her little head, or feel her little arms around my neck.
And of course, the sadness never comes alone. Anger, frustration, a sense of unfairnes - they all follow shortly. But that night, I waved them all away, and told Sammy a bedtime story. I'm clinging to the happiness, dammit, and you can't take it away from!