Last night, I spent 4 hours in the ER. Everything turned out fine, Sammy had just hurt her wrist. I was afraid she'd broken anything, so I took her, and the xrays came back negative. She still needed a splint, and it broke my heart to see her little arm get wrapped up, and then put in a little sling.
What really got me though was that yesterday had been the first time I'd stepped into that ER since That Day. I actually felt a little woozy when I stepped inside, and when they ushered me into the waiting area. It was just all too much. I couldn't help but think of That Day. Of the noise, the movement all around, the police walking up to me and telling me "he didn't make it." But, I just saw his brother - how did he not make it, and his brother did? I couldn't help thinking "why am I here?"
8 comments:
the passages of time through widowdom are ever changing. I have yet to pass through those halls of hospital. My husband passed 4 years ago Feb. This is my first blog. I am glad you are ok.
Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.
I understand the feeling.... My husband died a year and a half ago and I haven't set foot in that hospital again since.... until this last week when I had to take my son there for treatment.... very hard to have all those memories rushing back all at once, especially when I was supposed to be strong and helping my child through a rough time.... However i noticed I did feel a bit of comfort.... knowing that his spirit was helping and looking down on his son that day.... strange all the thoughts in our heads :-) I enjoy reading your blog and I think we are on much of the same level.... If you ever feel like chatting sometime just hit me up... I don't have too many friends who have experienced a complete life changing event at such a young age as we have....
Sorry.... RAMBLING :-)
Much luck to you and yours,
Dana and her boys
Zakarismommy@mchsi.com
Hi Wanda,
Just found your blog. I'm a widow, too athough I'm old enough to be your mother...whoe...I hate that expression.
Good for us to express this crazy turn of events in our lives...I wish you peace.
12 years for me...still get flshbacks.
I put the grieving aside somehow to raise my daughter, care for my mother, you know...get on with life at hand.
My daughter just moved out and I think now is time to put my own life in order. Finally.
Blogging helps.
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